Curing Alexithymia: How to Develop Your Emotional Literacy

Alexithymia is a condition where you don’t have the words to describe your feelings.

Now, you may be wondering why this is so important. I mean, a lot of people don’t always know what they really feel, and they’re doing it right. So why do I keep talking about this so much?

Big question!

There are some problems that can occur when people cannot identify or describe their feelings:

• The feeling of ‘loss’ can wreak havoc on your physical and emotional system, leading to all kinds of psychosomatic problems.

• The energy of that feeling doesn’t go away: you’ll usually channel it into anger, except you won’t really understand what really makes you angry.

• You feel very alone and disconnected from others, even those closest and dearest to you. If you can’t tell others what you’re really experiencing and feeling about things, that often leads to very shallow and unsatisfying relationships.

• You don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, or mental space. Lost feelings are always trying to remind you that they are still there and need to be acknowledged, and that is one of the most unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings in the world.

• You have no idea what message your feelings are trying to give you, about what needs to change in your life to make you feel happier and more content.

So now that you’re convinced it’s something you need to take seriously, how do you fix the problem?

The key is to expand your emotional vocabulary. Once that happens, you will begin to get much more in touch with your authentic self, you will be able to express yourself more clearly, and your relationships will develop a new depth and sense of connection. You’ll probably also stop feeling so angry, frustrated, and ‘stressed’ all the time (people often use the word ‘stressed’ when they can’t describe what emotion they’re actually feeling).

Make your own list of ‘feeling words’

Take the following word list and go to your favorite thesaurus, or thesaurus website, to make your own ‘feeling’ word list. Be sure to check out the ‘antonyms’ suggestions too, to give you more emotional word ideas. You’d be surprised how many terms there are for ‘not happy’, and if you go ahead and start learning the definitions of the different words on your list, you should soon be enjoying some first-class emotional literacy.

• YOU GIVE

• DEPRESSED

• DAMAGED

• UNCOMFORTABLE

• BORED

• HURTFUL

• VULNERABLE

• HUGS

• GUILTY

• ONLY

• LOST

• CONFUSED

• SHOCKED

• NEGATIVE

• TIRED

• AFRAID

• ANXIOUS

• HURT

• VICTIMIZED

• INADEQUATE

• HELPLESS

• INDIFFERENT

• GLAD

• OPEN

• LIVE

• OKAY

• CARING

• INTERESTED

• STRONG

• POSITIVE

• ACCEPTABLE

• CARE ABOUT

• GRATEFUL

• INTELLIGENT

• TAKING CARE OF

• RELAXED

• ATTRACTIVE