Politically correct Christmas carols and songs
Christmas carols and songs tend to exclude, marginalize and insult. From now on, these songs will be rewritten with new titles to avoid any real, imagined or perceived offense.
The word Christmas is unique to Christians and should be eliminated. Since it cannot be replaced with the word “holiday” (Holy Day), we will replace it with the innocuous phrase, “day off.”
“We wish you a Merry Christmas”
“We wish you a happy non-religious day off in winter.”
Noel is another word for Christmas.
“The first Noel”
“The first specific non-religious day off in winter”
Don’t you dare exclude the victims of capitalism at this time of year.
“I’ll be home for Christmas”
“I will be at home or in a homeless shelter during the specific non-religious day off in winter.”
And let’s not let any covert references to race cloud your celebration (if you choose to celebrate).
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas”
“I am dreaming of a specific non-religious immaterial race day off in winter”
The physically disabled should not be excluded.
“I heard the bells on Christmas day”
“Felt the bells on the specific non-religious day off in winter”
If physical disabilities are referenced in other songs, they must also be interpreted in sign language and available in Braille.
“You hear what I hear”
“Do you feel what I feel?”
Angels are spiritual beings, not everyone believes in spiritual life.
“Angels we have heard in the heights”
“Guiding influences that we have perceived from above”
Since the mute cannot sing, we will substitute the term communicate.
“Listen! The herald angels sing”
“Meaning! Herald Communicates Guiding Influences”
The word “saint” has religious connotations. We do not want to offend the secular.
“Silent night Holy night”
“Silent night, devoted night”
Y
“Oh Holy Night”
“Oh devoted night”
The secular can also lack faith.
“Oh come all the faithful”
“Oh come all of you extreme loyalty to non-material evidence”
A person should not feel left out depending on where they live …
“Go say it on the mountain”
“Go tell it in the preferred geographic location”
… or its climate.
“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow”
“Let me make a favorite weather pattern, let me make a favorite weather pattern, let me make a favorite weather pattern”
Christians are crafty. They often subtly appropriate common terms in an attempt to appropriate the language. The word “manger” has been hijacked to refer exclusively to the nativity of Jesus Christ and must be replaced.
“Away in a manger”
“Away in a trough containing cattle feed”
The traditional birthplace of Jesus Christ is in Bethlehem, Israel. Since Bethlehem is within the occupied and disputed West Bank by the Zionists, we have to apply an intended name to this song.
“Oh little town of Bethlehem”
“Oh picturesque city of the Palestinian joint government”
That was a nice transition to using physical descriptions. The word “small” should never be used. It is degrading. Especially when used to describe a person. References to a person’s gender will also be prohibited, especially when they help reinforce stereotypes.
“Little Drummer”
“Child drummer with vertical challenges of undetermined gender”
You need to redo other genre-specific songs.
“Frosty the Snowman”
“Frosty, the hermaphroditic creature of the snows”
Y
“Oh come on let’s adore it”
“Oh come on let’s adore him or her”
This also applies to stereotypical roles in parenting and heterosexualism.
“I saw mom kissing Santa Claus”
“I saw my gynocentric tutor kissing a non-gender specific person known to wear a red suit”
We cannot stereotype overweight people as happy, or make references to a person’s age. Even if they are holy (another subtle religious term)
“Jolly Old Saint Nicholas”
“Happy, plus size, chronologically gifted, very virtuous
Nicholas “
We kept the term Nicolás to preserve some tradition. We are not implying that Nicholas has to be a male name and only men are capable of amassing enough fortune and possessing the generosity to be able to give gifts to masses of people. Nor are we implying that women lack the physical strength and stamina to perform such a task. To balance this misperception, we will apply modern affirmative action to level the male ego and help balance the playing field.
“We the Three Kings of the East are”
“The three misogynistic autocrats of East Asia are”
This applies especially to Westerners …
“Good King Wenceslas”
“Wenceslas autocrat misogynist European evil white male”
… doubly, especially if they are Christians
“Good Christian Men Rejoice”
“Evil narrow-minded homophobic racist misogynist men get drunk and abuse”
We do not take tradition lightly. In fact, we found a traditional song that we will keep in its entirety. We believe this song accurately portrays the typical man.
“Mr. Grinch”
Letter Sample: “Your soul is a hideous pile of garbage brimming with the most disgraceful variety of garbage imaginable torn apart into tangled knots!”
Thanksgiving songs or, the fall day off, will also need to be deconstructed.
“Over the river and through the forest”
“Over the river and through the forest”
Captioned: “Only after an environmental impact study is carried out on the effects of a horse-drawn sleigh in the forest. And assuming the friendly vegetarian beast of a horse is not forced to pull an overloaded sleigh and do it voluntarily. “
We realize that it may lose some of the warmth of its original meaning. This could be avoided if the grandmother (or grandparents) simply returned to the city and helped stop urban sprawl.
And last but not least, we must help shift the cultural pendulum away from the religious holiday and back toward the state-granted secular day off. We can do this through songs that highlight the true Marxist origins of political correctness.
“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”
“Rudolph the Red knows that state seizure and redistribution of private wealth is fairer than private charity and guarantees the survival and growing power of the state”