Legal Law

Relationship wisdom: when is the right time to break up?

For some, this is a big question and they can go back and forth about their decision, hoping that things will change for the better. For others, once they have made up their minds, they just do it. Either way, your connection to your partner will influence how you do it.

This no longer works

Discussions about the relationship and unsatisfactory areas usually occur long before the actual breakup. In fact, we begin to negotiate, to ask for what we want, to compromise, to complain, to criticize ourselves, etc. very early in the relationship. It is natural that we want the relationship to fit, which includes asking (or demanding) our partner to do things differently.

Once you’ve started questioning your relationship, you may even find more and more evidence why it’s not working anymore, just because you start to focus more on those areas.

Please give me another chance

It’s rare, you might even say it never happens, for two people to mutually agree that a breakup from the same place of acceptance is over. That is what they could tell their friends but the truth is that there is always a person who is already ahead and is clearer about what they no longer want.

The other person is usually the one who, even though things haven’t been that good, still had some hope that it would work out. In their own feelings of pain and pain, they might say “I understand” or “you are right”, but the fact is that one person is often more hurt than the other.

If the difference between the two partners is greater, the one who is told “it’s over” could even ask for another chance.

I’m not sure anymore

If both members of the couple are connected to their emotions during a breakup conversation, they will both be somewhat moved by the experience. If you’re asking for another chance and the first partner isn’t absolutely 100 percent clear on himself, they may be driven to agree. This state of limbo between ‘wanting to break up’ and ‘wanting to try again’ is quite normal and couples often go through a trial breakup to give their relationship another chance.

So when will I tell them?

If you’re wondering when to tell your partner, let your intuition take the lead. Talk about it with trusted friends beforehand, if that helps. Feel “the right time” and it will come. If you are avoiding it, you will most likely notice that you are feeling upset with your partner, waiting for you to make a mistake or start a fight. If you are true to yourself, you may want to choose a better time for such an important conversation.

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