The worst retirement gifts you could give

Retirement. After endless years of daily work, goodbye tension, hello pension. No more lying to the boss about “that date” or “I fell down the stairs and broke my arm” excuses. Now is the time to kick off your shoes, turn on the TV, and eat cake (and lots of it) because the gateway to the golden years is at hand.

If you know someone who is about to enter the endless coffee break experience, you’ll want to treat them to some traditional, contemporary and personalized retirement gifts.

Sure, we’ve all received a bad gift. Maybe it was your grandmother’s hand-knitted bird jumper that led to a quick playground beating. Maybe it was that re-gifted mug that said “Sarah” (your name is John).

Bad gift givers like to say that something is better than nothing. This is not true. So, without further ado, here are some retirement gift ideas for men and women that you’ll want to steer clear of…

Re-gifted books. Most of us have been guilty of re-gifting at some point in our lives, but gifted books take the cake, especially if they still have that handwritten note to the original recipient. Repeat the mantra: “Book gifts = the tackiest retirement ideas.” forever.”

cheap wine. If you’re going to give poor-quality wine as a retirement gift, at least buy a decent bottle. What retiree, after God knows how many years of the 9 to 5 grind, would really appreciate a wine that he tasted like vinegar?

Bathroom scales. Great. After all that hard work, that’s what they get from their million pound corporation, or you… gosh, thanks! Nothing says “you need to lose a few pounds” more than a bathroom scale. Make a mental note: bathroom scales no make good, clever, or funny retirement gifts.

Piggy banks. Hello? Piggy banks can be a great gift for children, but not for a sixty-something man or woman. Come on, is tossing your loose change into a piggy bank supposed to make you feel like a young, professional person capable of managing your own money? I do not believe it.

Retirement is filed with the wrong name or initials. Perhaps one of the most embarrassingly thoughtless retirement gifts for men and women are those personalized with the wrong name or initials. they are more like insults with a bow on top.

Retirement gifts with a message. When you get the urge to buy a retiree a t-shirt scrawled with ‘retired but not expired’, just keep walking. Unless the person you’re buying for is under 16, your long-winded retirement gift is likely to end up in a rag.

Instead of giving any of the above, why not welcome them to empowering freedom with personalized retirement gifts? You can add the retiree’s name to your gift, along with a cheeky goodbye message of your own. So maybe: “Welcome to being your own boss!” or “You’re well over the hill now!” Okay, maybe not. Jokes that were fun at a 40th birthday party may not be as fun now.

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