25 things I learned as a young mother to do with my children
Being a young mother can be extremely daunting, and sometimes it’s hard to know how to be a loving mother while also disciplining your child. Sometimes it is by trial and error that we learn how to raise our children. There is no perfect way.
I got pregnant when I was eighteen. I wanted to have a home birth. I lived in an alternative hippie area of Australia called Byron Bay, which was a beautiful place to be pregnant. I just loved reading about midwifery and health and the processes of developing my little inner child. Being pregnant I felt powerful and full of light carrying the energy of the mother earth goddess.
Nine months pregnant to the day, I looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth and noticed that my face looked ripe as a cherry. Thirty hours later I gave birth to a beautiful girl.
I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She was the center of my life. I had three more children in the 11 years that followed.
I felt that the first years of motherhood were easy. I loved being a homemaker and a breadwinner. I never felt like imposing my ways on my son, as he wanted them to find their own. He was totally against indoctrination at any level. Looking back, maybe if he knew me better he would have more guidance, but I was also a child and I was also learning about life.
I’ve always wished that a manual would instantly appear out of nowhere to let me know if I’m doing or saying the right thing. Being a mother is not easy!
The things I know have not been passed on to me. I have learned what I have by trial and error.
Looking back, I know a lot more now than I did then. I wish someone had given me these tips as a young mom:
1. Make sure your child eats fresh and healthy food (food intake affects the child’s mood)
2. Make sure your child plays sports or exercises regularly (a child who spends time in nature playing sports or exercising is a happy child)
3. Teach your children the beauty of the natural environment (the moon, the sunsets, the leaves on the trees, the flowers)
4. Teach your children to respect the elders (at home it is the elders who rule, not the children)
5. Check in with your kids every day in conversation about their day and how they feel about things and how you feel too
6. Eat at the table every day with your children (they will learn to eat well and appreciate the togetherness)
7. Play sweet music often in the house
8. Inspire your children to read by reading to them often, have your child learn to play an instrument (children can process emotions through music)
9. Teach your children manners (ie say hello when they see a new adult friend of the family visiting). They go a long way in life.
10. Say good morning to your children when they get up and goodbye when you leave
11. Only let your children watch TV on special occasions. Try to get them to watch educational channels instead of trash and drama.
12. Put your children to bed with the usual background noise of the house (they must learn to sleep as life surrounds them)
13. Teach your children the joy of giving (every birthday or Christmas helps them get excited about giving to others more than wanting gifts)
14. Teach your children to close their eyes and be still for 5 minutes every day (they will learn to know themselves)
15. Don’t give in too easily to a child’s demands (children love to feel their limits because when they feel them they feel safe)
16. Teach your kids to share their favorite toy from time to time.
17. Teach your child to make their own bed and clean their own room from a young age (it’s a lesson in self-respect)
18. Play with your child and act like laughing monkeys often
19. Listen carefully to your child and answer all of their questions (when possible)
20. Be affectionate with your children (lots of hugs every day!)
21. Don’t take anything personally from your teenagers (it’s just a phase and hopefully it will pass soon)
22. Remember to breathe
23. Praise your children often.
24. Teach your children simple prayers from an early age (it will make them feel the presence of a higher existence outside of themselves)
25. Let your kids know you’re happy (if you are). Children may feel unhappy and may worry about their parents. They’ll be relieved if you let them know you’re okay.
This is just a small drop in the ocean in the enormous task of being a mother. There is much more. Perhaps if all the mothers in the world could contribute to the list, a manual would eventually be written, but in general, children need to feel love and that is the only constant in the ups and downs of motherhood.
GOOD LUCK! TO ENJOY!