Can someone wear an invisible straitjacket if they experienced childhood trauma?

Human beings have many needs and one need, a need that is a key part of what will allow them to live a fulfilled existence, is their need to express themselves. This need will include being able to behave how they want to behave, say what they want to say, and be creative.

Each of these things will allow them to express their true selves, and the more their external world is in alignment with this part of them, the happier they will be. This does not mean that it will always be possible for someone to express their true self, but of course there is a difference between being able to express it and not being able to.

a different experience

However, although this is a very important need, someone may be in a position where it is difficult for them to express themselves. What could be normal is that they do what they can to please others.

As a result of this, in general, what they say and do will not come from their true selves. It will be more accurate to say that much of what you say and do will come from your false self.

Unstable

This part of them will have been built on their true selves and this creation will not reflect their true needs or feelings. While their true self will be a reflection of what they need and what happens to them, their false self will be a reflection of what other people need and what happens to them.

Consequently, this creation will not have a firm foundation, it will be the equivalent of a building that has been built on sand. This part of them will also depend on the sustenance of others and will not be able to get anything from within.

The rule

However, even though this is what usually happens, they may not be fully aware of what is happening. What this may illustrate is that they have been like this for most of their lives.

If they get frustrated and even angry from time to time, it will not be enough for them to do anything with their life. Still, as time goes on and more “negative” emotions build up, they might end up stepping back and looking at what they can do to change their life.

Caught

From the outside, they will probably look as free as anyone else; They will have a body and a voice. This will allow them to go where they want to go and express themselves.

However, they will not feel free inside; it will be as if they were wearing an invisible straitjacket. Unlike how it would be if they were wearing this type of jacket, they would be able to move their body and walk around wherever they wanted, but this would not really matter.

Confusion

At this point, it could be said that it is strange that someone has the freedom to express themselves but cannot do so. In a way, it will be like having a car that you don’t want to drive.

What they need to get from where they are to where they want to be will be in front of them but they won’t be able to take the next step. If they’ve been like this for as long as they can remember, it could prove that what happened during their early years had a big effect on them.

back in time

At this stage in their life, they may have been abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily basis. What this would have done is traumatize them and prevent them from developing a felt sense of safety and security, among other things.

Being in his body, connected to his true self and therefore expressing himself, he would not have felt safe. What would have felt safe was being focused on their caregiver(s) and doing what they wanted, along with what they think they wanted.

an adaptation

Their behavior as an adult, as frustrating as it may be, will be what allows them to survive from very early on. If they did express themselves, they may have been physically hurt or abandoned.

Deep down, this is what they think would happen if they had to express themselves. Also, your nervous system is likely carrying most, if not all, of the load that you experienced all those years ago.

totally ineffective

With this in mind, it is unlikely that simply changing their thoughts and behavior will allow them to break free of their “straitjacket”. What this approach can do, if it works, is allow them to disconnect from what is really happening to them.

So, as trivial as “people-pleasing” may seem, it can be anything but trivial and a sign that something much deeper needs to be analyzed and resolved. The problem is that if you live in a mind-centered society, the rest of your being can end up being overlooked.

Awareness

If one can relate to this and is ready to change their life, they may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.