If your girlfriend left you because of money problems, you must take action
What is the number one reason most relationships break up? Terrible sex? Too much hassle? Incompatibility? Another lover? Do you just break up? It is none of these. By far the biggest reason relationships fail can be summed up in one word: money.
If you have money problems, then you have big problems. Nothing creates stress and difficulty like persistent problems with bills, paying rent, paying for a car, or maybe even not being able to afford a car! If your girlfriend left you because of money problems, then you have one of the most difficult situations to remedy. Getting an ex-girlfriend back with you is hard enough as it is. It is even more difficult when you have cash problems.
But before we get depressed about this situation, let’s get some perspective. Many guys think that if they were rich, or at least well off, their girlfriend would never have left them. It’s not as simple as that. If she doesn’t believe it, she tunes in to what’s happening with the rich and famous around the world, whether they’re movie stars or royalty. It quickly becomes apparent that people with a lot of money don’t have better luck (obviously, sometimes a lot worse luck) staying in a relationship. How many movie stars can you think of in the next five minutes who have two, three, maybe four divorces under their belt?
The fact is that having a lot of money is not a guarantee of success in a relationship. If you feel sorry for yourself that your girlfriend left you because of financial problems, then it’s time to start rethinking the whole situation. You could be filthy rich, and she could be gone anyway.
What does this tell you about money? Clearly, it doesn’t matter how much you have or how little you have. If the foundations of your relationship are solid, even a dire financial situation shouldn’t be an excuse for your girlfriend to walk away. Money is just a convenient excuse, an external factor.
Okay, but let’s also acknowledge that while money may not be the main reason he left you, it certainly was a contributing factor. That’s because constant stress over money creates a general climate of tension and struggle. It is very difficult for any relationship to thrive in an environment of constant struggle.
Unbelievably, many men do the exact opposite of what they should do when they have money problems and their partner leaves: they plunge into even greater debt! That’s how it is!
There is something in relationship problems that can lead many men to lose their common sense. For example, they think that if they had a better car, maybe their girlfriend would come back to them. So they go all out, pool all their resources, and take out a huge loan to get some new wheels. So now they have a shiny new car, and even more debts and payments to worry about. To get that new car, they may have had to take out a second mortgage on their home or rack up huge credit card debt.
Other guys spend cash on some kind of bribe, perhaps an expensive piece of jewelry to hang in front of their ex in a desperate attempt to lure her back. Even if this works in the short term, as soon as the new load of bills starts to come due, the stress level rises to whole new levels. Under these conditions, the relationship is probably doomed to fail.
So the first step to getting your ex girlfriend back if she left you due to financial stress is to start addressing your issues one by one. The last thing you want to do if she’s having money problems is get entangled in more money problems. What you need to do is start taking control of your financial life. Instead of buying a new car, it might be time to sell the one you have!
It’s about making priorities in your life. You have to decide if you want to put your relationship and personal life first, or continue to be a slave to all your bills. Of course, getting one’s financial life in order is never an easy task. If you think you can’t handle it on your own, by all means seek financial advice from a professional. This doesn’t have to cost you a dime. There are many free debt counseling services, especially in these tough financial times, available to you. Take advantage of them. Get help formulating a solid plan to start paying down your debt and start making more money.
Taking the first step toward getting your financial life under control can be a huge relief. You will immediately have the feeling that you are finally doing something positive to regain control of your life. When you start to gain financial control, you start to reduce that omnipresent stress that plagues you and made your relationship hell. It is a sad fact of our modern society that even when two people love each other, a general condition of financial stress can cripple even the best of relationships.
So let’s say you do the hard work, you make the hard decisions, and you begin the process of getting to a more financially stable position, but at the same time, you still have this. other problem: the fact that your girlfriend is gone! It can all seem pretty overwhelming, and it is! That is exactly why you have to take a deep breath, realize that the most difficult problems are not solved easily or overnight, and take things one day at a time.
This doesn’t mean you can’t start taking the first steps to mend your broken relationship and take steps to win your ex girlfriend back. It might not be a bad idea to reach out to your ex and tell them what you’re up to. Maybe write him a letter and say something like:
“I know times have been tough and we argue a lot about money. I don’t blame you for not wanting to live a stressful life full of constant worries about bills, or not having money to go out and do things.” something funny. I truly believe that my money problems contributed greatly to our breakup. Once again, I don’t blame you, I blame myself. I just wanted you to know that I am taking positive steps to improve my financial situation. control. I don’t want to have money problems again. I hope they give me time to be in a better position. If I do, I really think our relationship could be special again. I hope they give me time to right my ship, and maybe even consider coming back to me when I’m in a better position, and when there aren’t as many issues to constantly worry or argue about…”
… Or something like that.
Keep in mind that this is just an example of the type of letter you might write to your ex-girlfriend. But notice that the message in our example does not plead or blame. You only “blame yourself” and you also don’t beg your girlfriend to come back to you. You are just letting her know that you still care here and that you are making positive changes in your life because of her. You can’t lose with this approach. Many girls would be flattered that their ex-boyfriend cares enough about them to want to radically transform their own lives and strive to make a better world for both of them.
Still, you may have to give it time. Money problems just don’t go away overnight. If you have really bad money problems, things may get worse before they get better. But until you get to the root of the problem and remove the financial stress from your life, it will be extremely difficult to get your ex girlfriend back. And even if she does come back, she may only leave once all the old money problems come up again.
If there is something positive in a broken relationship, it is that this difficult situation helps us to re-examine our lives to find out what is wrong with them, and forces us to make general improvements in our situation. Getting control of money problems is one of the best things any man can do, and it sets the stage for a stable and happy relationship that will last forever.