Online Dating Question – I’m A Good Match! Are all women in my area stupid?
The question
“I need someone to help me try to stand out. There’s no one around here who can help me. That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH!” -phil in illinois
the honest answer
We’ll answer the last part of Phil’s question first and then give you some quick tips to make your online profile really stand out from all the other guys on any dating site.
Part 1: “…either that or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A BEAT!” When you try to attract another person. In other words, to attract that really cute girl, take a look at yourself from her perspective and find out what would be attractive and what is important to her. Take the time to write down all of her best qualities “her from her perspective” about her. At that point It’s about her, not you. You may come across as too strong (read: arrogant). Many women like subtle confidence but not arrogance. You have to be sure of yourself without offending her.
Focus on your best qualities in your headline and in the details of your online profile. Also, and this is VERY important, remember that each person is a unique individual, with different preferences and tastes. What is a “big catch” for one person might be a turn off for someone else, and vice versa. Be careful not to assume that other people perceive things in the same way as you: this is rarely the case, and it will often get you into trouble, especially with women.
Part 2: “I need someone to help me try to stand out…” Here are some simple things you can do to REALLY stand out from all the other men on any dating site.
Upload a quality photo We’ll keep harping on this until all the guys get it! Most men do not upload their photo and the fact is that profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without. And get this, profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more looks than profiles with poor photos. The key word here is PHOTO QUALITY. That’s where most guys who post a photo really go wrong. They upload a poorly grained photo, or worse, they upload a photo with their ex-girlfriend scribbled on it. If you don’t like your photo, get a professional one done. There are plenty of professional photo services that do nothing more than create great photos for your online dating profile. This is the biggest thing you can do to stand out!
write a catchy title When it comes to writing an online profile, it’s easy to make the mistake of not paying enough attention to your headline. Most people will click on a profile with a catchy headline just to see what the person has to say next. The whole purpose of your headline is to make the other person want to know more about you. Your headline should be something special about you, but still pique their curiosity. You’re trying to get them to want to read more of your profile, so it helps to ask a question that the reader might think will be answered in the profile, or to try to establish a sense of mystery.
Have a well written and intriguing profile. Writing about yourself in paragraph form can be a very daunting task. What do I say? Where do I start? Why are they forcing me to do this? First, take a deep breath and relax. Taking the time to write a good profile will attract more compatible women to your profile and will save you a lot of time and energy in the end. There are some basic and simple rules that can make the process much easier.
Be yourself. Honesty is the best policy . Although it can be tempting to change your weight, your age or your relationship status a bit, the best way to ensure that you find the person you are looking for is to BE HONEST! Write like you talk. Be yourself. Sure, you’re trying to be your best, but you’re also trying to find someone who likes you for who you really are.
Target your market. Don’t talk about “leather and whips” when searching for true romance on eHarmony, and similarly, don’t use words like “true love” when searching for a one-night stand on AdultFriendFinder.
Be specific. Avoid generalities. Use concrete examples from your life. Instead of saying “I like football,” you can say “I like watching the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night at my favorite sports bar.” You can see how that says a lot more about you. What things are most important to me? you in life? Is it health, career, family, fun, learning, religion or personal development? The things you choose to prioritize say a lot about who you are, including them in your profile will attract the right kind of women towards you and you will drive others away.
Don’t forget to check the spelling. There is nothing worse than reading a profile that begins with “maybe his the one for me” or worse. (In case you missed it, it should be ” are” rather “his”.) Sure, we’re not all perfect, but that wavy red line below the middle of your text is there for a reason.
Stay tuned, more soon…
We encourage our readers to send us their most pressing online dating and relationship questions. If you haven’t already told us your questions, go to AskDanAndJennifer.com and ask now before you forget.