The role of food in your social life
The words, ‘Would you like to come to dinner?’ it can be enough to cause even the most trusting of us to be apprehensive. What will we wear, who else might be there, if we take something with us, will we be able to eat what’s on offer, what if something looks too awful to eat!
I’m sure we’ve all been there, going over these questions before going to someone’s house. And if it’s an arrangement to go out to dinner, we can add questions about how to pay the bill, who drinks alcohol and who doesn’t, how formal it will be.
A lovely invitation to a relaxing meal can suddenly be overshadowed by a plethora of “what if” thoughts running through our minds. Fear of looking stupid, inexperienced, picky eater can make us wonder if we should go ahead.
Of course, all of these concerns may depend on the circumstances of the invitation, on how well we know the person or persons involved. Is it a group invitation with colleagues, friends or family or is it something more formal, perhaps accompanying our partner to a business event? Is it a first date, the early stages of a new relationship, or something longer lasting?
And then, of course, there is the other role of food in your social life, the invitation to dinner! What does that invitation mean? Is it going to be a light snack or something more substantial? Preparing your response in advance so that it is appropriately polite and appreciative, whatever is being served, is an important social skill.
Random social events and food are a potential minefield. I remember supermodel Jerry Hall saying that she always ate dinner before going to a reception to avoid being tempted by high-calorie snacks that never fill you up. You never know what you are going to find at canapés buffets and events! And then there is the danger of eating with your fingers, juggling a drink, a small plate, all while having a conversation or perhaps wanting to say hello to someone or shake their hand!
Let’s not forget the food watchdogs who control what everyone eats. You know who’s on a diet, who should be on a diet! We dare to eat something too rich, or have a dessert! Dare we risk raised eyebrows when ordering a creamy pasta sauce or sticky toffee pudding for dessert?
And allergies! Doesn’t almost everyone have special dietary requirements these days, ranging from food intolerances to extensive lists of what they will and won’t eat? The diverse requirements of a larger group often justify eating out and choosing a venue with a full menu that suits everyone.
Money can be another hot potato. The invoice! Should it be shared equally among all diners? But what about the people who barely ate and those who had multiple dishes or expensive options? Some people may have wanted to be social and involved, but can’t afford to spend much. Should they subsidize others? What about wine drinkers and non-drinking drivers? Is it a first date, and if so, does the man have to pay, or could that cause awkwardness or embarrassment?
Having said that, eating socially is a great way to relax and reconnect with old friends and make new ones. Taking time out over a meal is fun and one of the best ways to spend a quiet afternoon or evening. Many restaurants now cater to family parties and it’s a delight to see multiple generations sitting together over Sunday lunch, chatting and taking their time.
Entertaining at home can be an easy way to share time together, especially if multiple people have young children and don’t want the potential stress of dining out. One suggestion might be for everyone to contribute a plate, thus spreading the load in terms of cost and effort. Barbecues and picnics can also gain prominence during the summer months and are a fun outdoor way to enjoy food and socializing.
Safari dinners are also a good idea, where residents of one street or community plan to have a dish at each house and then travel to the next overnight. Introduce a topic and you can end up with an unexpectedly fun time!
We all have to eat, so let’s make the most of these opportunities to really enjoy the role of food in our social lives.