Triangle in a square world

One of the saddest things in life is how long we go without living. I find it unfair and cruel that our lives are controlled by things that in the end don’t make sense. Our lives are stolen by occupation, conformity, obedience and acceptance. Most of the time we are forced to ignore our true callings. All for the sake of what, to some people, makes sense. As free as we are, surprisingly we are not free. We have to be aware of what we wear, how we talk, how we do our hair and where we work. Our lives are not ours. And for me that is a problem.

I understand that we have to conform to a certain point. But what I don’t understand is why we have to sacrifice so much to do it. We only have one life and we should be able to live that life however we see fit. If we’re not causing harm to anyone else, we should be able to be who we want to be. I’m sure there are some people who will think I’m naive. Well, I’m not naive. I only see the bigger, more spectacular picture.

My biggest fear is leaving this body with a list of what ifs and regrets. I am terrified to be on my deathbed saddened by how much I did not experience and how much I held back. Work is fun, but playing is more fun and working while playing is the most fun of all. The world tells you, you can’t, and I believe you can. We can find the happy medium. Who says you can’t be the woman in the $3,000 suit with the fancy purple hair? Maybe you want to be the mom who is an amazing rock star.

Labels and stereotypes are for the naive. We should all be able to be who we want to be. I just turned thirty. And with thirty comes the expectation that you will act like an adult. I am more mature in my new role than when I was twenty. Another thing that has carried me through the thirty line is feeling younger than ever in my twenties and also a good dose of confidence. I feel more myself than I have ever felt in my entire life. And what I’m going to do is be true to myself, regardless of everything else.

I am a triangle in a square world and I will embrace that fact with every ounce that I am. as you should Never stop for someone else’s sake. Neither your children nor your partner. Because in the end the only person you will be responding to is yourself. We can find the healthy balance. Everything is possible.