Women make a conscious effort to respond sexually
Men are naturally more proactive as lovers than women. Men stimulate their partner because they are turned on by touching, kissing and penetrating the body of a lover. Their sex drive focuses them on penetration and the act of pushing to ejaculation. Women do not have the same benefit. Women have to make a conscious effort to provide sexual pleasure to their lover.
A dog runs after a ball not because dogs have developed an interest in chasing balls, but because the ball emulates the behavior of small mammals that dogs used to hunt for food. When we throw a ball at a dog, it acts as a stimulus that causes the dog to chase it and perhaps get it back. In nature, the ball is a rabbit, and the dog catches the rabbit to eat it. There is a parallel in sex because sexuality encompasses more than reproduction.
Sex game involves a woman throwing the equivalent of a ball at a man. It’s just; she is the ball! A man wants to emulate the conquest of catching a woman and forcing himself on her. The moans and facial expressions of the porn actresses are based on the resistance scenario. However, men expect their wives and girlfriends to provide them with the same excitement naturally. They do not appreciate that everything is an act from the female perspective.
A virgin remains inert during intercourse anticipating that something will happen as if by magic. When nothing is wrong, you can choose between remaining listless and simulating some kind of enthusiasm. Both social and sexual interaction depend on the active interest of the participants. The problem is that if a woman remains inert, her lover realizes that his efforts do not arouse her. He loses confidence in his acting and concludes that because she does not appreciate his lovemaking, she cannot love him.
When she is a virgin, a woman has no idea what a man wants. She leaves him to do the moves. The man provides the stimulation and she just accepts what he does to her. When a man is a virgin and has sex with a sexually experienced woman, she can guide him. But she doesn’t have her own sexual needs. She simply provides what she has learned that men like.
Women do not have a natural response to consensual sex, which provides little sensation. But men seem to need a response from their partner. So an experienced woman moves her hips and makes some noise to help with male arousal. You do this because you love a man and want to help him achieve sexual liberation, or you do it because you think you should or because you are paid to act as a proactive lover.
Although a woman may initially offer sexual pleasures, her enthusiasm tends to wane over time due to the effort involved and the fact that she receives very little erotic revenge. Since she is disarmed with a lover, a woman can only respond to the initiative of her partner. She does so mechanically (in the case of the disenchanted prostitute or sexual partner) or more ideally because she is motivated to demonstrate her love for a partner.
A receptive woman who has already experienced orgasm alone is surprised when she has sex for the first time. Intercourse is totally different from masturbation. There is no mental excitement. During masturbation, a woman’s mind is completely absorbed in the action of a fantasy. She is not aware of the real world around her. Experience arousal and orgasm in a very personal and private surreal world. But sexual activity with a lover has none of this subconscious self-absorption. A woman’s mind is fully conscious all the time. Even the kinds of activities that you might use in your fantasies lack any erotic meaning in the real world.
Sex is trivial when a woman is in love, but it becomes more burdensome over time. Young women are more excited about sex because of novelty, romance, and ego. There is hope that orgasm will finally occur. Men make little effort to provide a romantic introduction to sex once they have found a partner. A man assumes that a woman will continue to provide sex on an ongoing basis once they are in a relationship. He believes that he has earned it, so he does not need to invest to keep it. Men instinctively know that a woman’s love for her partner keeps them tied to a relationship.
With all the fiction surrounding women’s sexuality, it is important to understand that female sexuality has not evolved solely for the purpose of gratifying the male ego. Women cannot respond in certain ways simply because men would like them to (unless they pretend, of course). Female sexuality has evolved to maximize the chances of successful reproduction. Part of this success can be attributed to the ability of women to consciously behave in a way that pleases men. Specifically, women can provide erotic arousals that assist with male orgasm, which is the goal of reproduction and intercourse.
There is nothing wrong with a woman faking orgasm if her partner expects her to. What a woman decides to say to her partner is up to her. A woman may be reassured by the belief that she experiences orgasms that reflect male fantasies. But it is vital that other women know that there are no facts or logic to support these fictitious responses that some women believe they have.
I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be satisfied if we only had sex when I felt like it. I’ve had to learn that it’s not just about me. Sometimes I wish it was, but it isn’t. (Valerie Harris 2012)