Men entangled in mothers: Can it be more difficult for a man to separate from his mother if she falls ill?

If a man is focused on his mother and he is not living his own life, he may not even realize that this is the case. Since he was probably trained to be there for her from a very young age, it won’t be a surprise if it doesn’t occur to him that he is not in alignment with himself and that he is not behaving in the right way.

His early experiences would not have allowed him to stay connected to himself and feel comfortable in his own skin. Now that he is an adult, he will be distanced from himself and will only feel valuable if he pleases his mother.

an empty container

In other words, because you don’t have a sense of your own worth, it will be something you constantly have to earn. Then as long as he does what his mother wants and she approves, he can feel good about himself.

Like a runner on a treadmill, you’ll have to keep doing the same thing or else you’ll end up falling, or in this context, you’ll end up feeling really short. His mother will put on hoops and he will have to continually jump through them.

a heavyweight

You won’t consciously realize what’s going on, but deep down, you’ll know that you need to continue behaving that way. What happens in your unconscious mind will drive your behavior as opposed to what happens in your conscious mind.

Not only could you feel very depressed if you changed your behavior, but you could also fear that you would be abandoned. This fear will relate to what really happened if he didn’t please his mother from the start.

Emotionally Stuck

Along with this, he probably would have been punished or disapproved of. So it was too risky for him to express himself and he had to go into hiding in order to survive.

Many, many years will have passed since this stage of her life, but all of this trauma will still be retained in her body. As an adult, then, his greatest need will be to keep this pain at bay, and pleasing his mother will be subconsciously seen as the best way to make this happen.

External comments

This doesn’t mean that there isn’t a small part of him that doesn’t want his life to change, but this part will be overcome by a stronger part of him that believes that he can only survive by pleasing his mother. As a result of this, it is unlikely that he would directly seek a way to change his life.

If your life changes, it will most likely have to take place indirectly. The part of him that does want to change may manifest a scenario where another person will make it clear that he is not living his own life and is not here to focus on his mother.

a result

This could mean that you will end up meeting a woman you are attracted to and end up in a relationship with her. Being abroad, her partner will be able to see what is happening and transmit this information to her.

She might meet with a lot of resistance at first, and he would accuse her of being selfish or having something against his mother. But, as time goes on, as long as she doesn’t leave the relationship after this, she might start to see more clearly.

another obstacle

However, even if this were to happen, something could end up happening that will more or less take you back to where you started. Her mother might end up getting seriously ill, and he might feel compelled to focus on her once more.

It will be as if you have started to climb out of the hole you were in and have ended up being pulled back down again. He will have been brought up to be responsible for her mother and feeling responsible for her as an adult will feel normal.

a focus

It won’t matter that he is her son, not his father, as he may feel that he has to put his life even more aside and do even more for his mother. If he were to think about drawing the line and making it clear to his mother that he has his own life to live and that he cannot focus solely on her, he may feel overwhelmed with guilt and shame and may experience fear and anxiety.

If his mother had him on a leash before, now that he’s not feeling well, he will have tightened her tighter. And, oddly enough, there’s even the possibility that getting sick is another way to attract attention and prevent her son from living her own life.

a key point

However, this is not to say that it will be something that she has consciously chosen to do, as it is likely something that she has unconsciously manifested. What she can reflect on during this time is that she is on this planet to live her own life, not to be an extension of her mother and act like her father.

Also, you may wonder if you would want your child, assuming you are no longer a parent, to take care of him and neglect his own life. This question and the answer he receives may allow her to see how crazy it is for him to be too focused on his mother and waste his life in the process.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and is ready to change his life, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.