My Husband Cheated On Me And I Feel Ugly, Stupid And Insecure: Tips And Advice That Might Help

I often receive emails from women who tell me that their husband’s infidelity has shaken their faith in their marriage and in themselves. They worry that they are no longer attractive, competent, and sexy. I often hear comments like “I feel so ugly and undesirable.” Or “how could I have been so stupid? This has affected the way I feel about myself” or “I’ve always had self-confidence and reasonably high self-esteem, but this affair has made me doubt my own attractiveness. I’m so insecure right now and it makes me angry and sad.

In the following article, I will offer some tips on how to overcome these feelings in order to restore your self-esteem, self-respect, and self-respect.

Understand that your cheating often has very little to do with you: Many wives don’t believe me when I say this, but very often, their cheating is not the direct result of anything to do with you or your marriage. Many people will tell me that this makes absolutely no sense, but if you do a little research, you’ll see that most men have affairs or cheat as a way to assuage their own doubts or concerns.

If you read interviews (and even my blog comments) of men who cheated, you’ll see almost overwhelmingly that, after the fact, they are very sorry and still love their wives, but were looking for some relief from their own problems. in the wrong place. They will usually only realize this once the mistake has been made, unfortunately.

I know it’s almost impossible not to take this personally, but if you could read your husband’s thoughts, you could see that his actions were the result of his own personal insecurities and problems. Now, that’s not to say that your marriage or relationship doesn’t need some work or improvements. But, at the center of this problem are often the actions of a confused, impulsive and often remorseful man. He does not confuse this with any shortcoming on his part. These shortcomings very often are simply not there and there is no reason for you to take even more on his shoulders when these actions are not your own.

Don’t base your feelings about yourself on someone else’s inappropriate actions: To expand this further, try to think of this as if you weren’t the one involved. What if your best friend was in the same situation and came to you for advice? You would probably tell her that her husband’s big mistake doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with her and that she is, in fact, a beautiful person inside and out, right? Why doesn’t this same advice apply to you?

You are still the same person you were the day before you found out about his deception. Yes, there have been tough times and there are tough issues you will have to solve, but don’t let some actions you didn’t take and have no control over affect the way you feel about yourself. You did nothing wrong and you have nothing to apologize for.

Their mistake doesn’t mean you’re less beautiful, less intelligent, and have some reason not to feel as confident as you’ve always felt. You are not the person whose actions have made them seem less attractive and less intelligent. That would be your husband. You may think about forgiving this and you may not. But who you are doesn’t need to change. Always protect your well-being. You owe it to yourself and you deserve this inner peace.

Be as selfish as necessary to safeguard your self-esteem: There is nothing wrong with focusing on yourself right now. In fact, I often encourage just this. Sure, your marriage may also need your attention in the days and months ahead. But nothing should be as important right now as yourself. You have received a very cruel blow and as a result you have to be kind to yourself. I know that many times it is your inclination to focus on him, but you must also give yourself the same attention and care.

You should be as kind and loving to yourself as you can. Because if you move forward with doubts and insecurity, this will negatively affect every area of ​​your life. You don’t deserve this. Restoring your confidence and self-esteem will affect many other areas of your recovery. It will make this process easier and make any future decisions easier.

And it is important that you do this for yourself and for no one else. Dig deeper to discover what will restore your confidence and peace in your heart. I worked on my personal appearance, but stuck to the things that bothered me long before my husband cheated on me. This helped. But it was the self-care work that helped me the most because it reinforced the belief that these efforts were worthwhile and had made me strong enough to face anything that came my way. This, in turn, helped make moving forward a bit easier.