Raising adult children today
Was having to change dirty diapers almost every two hours stressful at times? It even got worse when her beloved son became a teenager; I used to be rebellious and gave you sleepless nights. Time flew by and now her “son” has grown into an adult. What happens when you realize that you are making a serious mistake? Will you scold him like the teenager you used to have? I am sure this will ruin your cordial relationship with him / her.
Everyone wants to have their adult child as their best friend, but this will not be easy, unless you recognize their adulthood and also learn to treat them with the same level of respect that you will give to other adults. This will definitely strengthen the bond between the two of you. Now your child is ready to settle down, but your choice of spouse makes you want to force some sense into your heads, so how do you handle such a situation? You can try talking to your child about your concerns, but try to maintain a respectful tone to prevent your own blood from rebelling against you. If talking to them does not help, then you will have to accept the bitter reality and simply accept and respect the spouse.
Visiting your children in their homes will definitely put smiles on their faces, “your presence is more important than your gifts” … but you will also have to inform them of your visit. This will definitely create a good atmosphere between you and your child’s family. Making surprise visits may sound like fun, but also keep in mind that your child is now an adult and their privacy should be respected. If they still live under your roof, you may need to involve them in running the home. This doesn’t mean you should make them pay the rent … letting them buy some food, utilities, and sometimes paying the water bills won’t break a bone.
Gone are the days when you used to have the last word! They are no longer small children, so when you have family discussions you will have to listen to what they have to say and respect their ideas. If you disagree with any of their advice, you will need to speak to them respectfully and try to politely convince them to buy your ideas. Taking on important family matters without informing them will definitely take them away from you!
There comes a point where your adult child will ask for a loan. Remember that you are his best friend! and they definitely count on you. So how do you go about this? If you are not in a position to help, be honest about it … they are adults and will understand. If you can balance it, be transparent and inform your other children. This will avoid sibling rivalry. Then establish a payment schedule. By granting them loans you are making them very independent. Raising adult children is much easier than dealing with teenagers. Despite their adult status, they will still be your babies, and you should give them a hand when needed.